Wednesday, August 4, 2010

This Must Be the Place

"Hey Jen, um, just want to let you know that, uh, next Thursday will be my last day."

Since 2004 I have had four different jobs.  I started out as a "sales associate" at Party City during my senior year of high school.  I went on to put in two years at an assisted living facility, six months at a Big Apple Bagel, and just over two years at National City Bank (now PNC). 

It is surprisingly hard for me to leave my branch.  I have complained about my co-workers, some more than others, but I know them.  I know their stories, I know how to relate to them, I know how they relate to me.  In about a week I will say goodbye to my family of the past two years, and dive head first into the icy waters of a new job.  In a new city.  With people who already know one another's stories.

I am officially moving to Chicago.  I am leaving the safety of my parents' home behind.  My sister and her family will no longer be six miles away, but more like 300.  I have to leave the paths that I wore down over the last twenty-three years to blaze new ones.

I am excited.  Just not right now.  Right now I am terrified.  I am so unbelievably upset about leaving this all behind.  I want to undo all of it.  I want to stay where it's safe, where it's warm, where I don't feel loneliness.

I wish I had the luxury of easing in to this move.  I want to adjust to my new apartment, my new city, before immersing myself in a new job.  I want to bring my branch with my customers (even the angry ones) with me.  I would love one constant.