And In the End, the Love You Take is Equal to the Love You Make.

I try to keep my blogging about perpetual single-hood to a minimum. This is probably why I will go several weeks without posting anything new.  Because, at the age of 23 (almost 24) the things I think about are:

• Your sister was married at your age.
• Why don't you ever have any money?
• Where is that middle ground between appearing obsessed with him and completely disinterested?
• Is that bill due already?
• Oh. My. Goodness.  That sandwich looks delicious.
• Is Blake Lively as cool in person as she is on TV?
• Oh look, 84% of your graduating class is married.  To each other.
• Yep, your sister was in fact married at your age.

Lately, I have come to the realization that I may just have to settle into this whole single-gal life and accept that some of us are just not meant for those kinds of relationships.  And yes, a big part of me is going through a bit of a mourning period, as is to be expected.  I mean, doesn't every normal girl imagine the perfect man at some point?

In seventh grade my best friend Robyn and I came up with a list of the qualities our dream men would have before we would consider dating them.  Rather than listen to Mr. Kievet explain how to solve for "X", we filled our math notes with "Must be able to make me laugh" and "must understand my love of Nora Ephron movies".  Over time our lists whittled down from hundreds of qualities to 75 to 25, to whatever they are now.  As you get older you realize that it isn't that important for a guy to like Savage Garden, in fact, its preferable that they don't.

I don't come to this conclusion lightly, its more-so after repeated "dates" that left me bored, annoyed, offended, or just hopeless.

Shameful admission: I have never left a date feeling excited for the next one.  Not one.  This is probably why I haven't been on one since October.

I've gone out with guys that lived in my dorm, guys from my study groups, guys from the bank... I've let friends try to introduce me to guys, no dice.  "You're too picky," my sister tells me, "give him another shot."  She is obsessed with the idea of me dating one of her former football players.  I'm sorry dear sister, "Can't be a ginger" is still on my list.

    

I suppose almost every family has an Aunt Spinster.  Someday I will regale my nieces with stories of "When I was your age" at the Christmas gatherings that my siblings have invited me to after my parents have passed on.  I will bring something from around the house that I giftwrapped, like a bowl I decorated at a paint-your-own-pottery store, and I will try to sneak more Boone's Farm into my glass from my purse.

This could be good...

This could be really good.  Perhaps I will run out of my own stories to tell, but Mae and Elli will have plenty to share about me.

Auld Lang Syne

Dear 2011,

Sorry for the late correspondence, I am usually better about writing my letters in a timely fashion.  Here we are, our first day together.  I apologize for welcoming you with little more than Nyquil and pie.  2010's parting shot to me was a bit of a head-cold.  Its okay though, I'll survive.  Listen 2011, your predecessor brought about a lot of growth and change.  I am not going to sit here and ask you to give me break, but I would like to request that you give me a bit of breather before you follow in his footsteps. 

Last year at this time I made the resolution to take advantage of new opportunities.  This is something that brought me to Chicago for four months.  2011, you may not know this, but that was a decision that never brought me peace.  So this year, dear 2011, I would like to make the resolution to use good sense in my choices.  I had the option to say no to that move, to say no to the apartment lease, to say no to the job offer, but my fear of being in a rut, my fear of being mundane, got the best of me.  I didn't want to be the person who never left home.  At the risk of getting all Shaun Brumder on you, it took that move to make me realize how much magic we have here in Grand Rapids. 

So 2011, as I leave the first quarter of my life behind, I would like to ask that you be another year that brings more growth and change, but less heartbreak and less anxiety.  This is day one, you and I have a clean slate.  I apologize for some of the baggage I will be bringing with me from 2010, but I promise I will purge it soon enough.

Let's get this show on the road!

Love always,
Stephanie