Here comes the...

I have ten toes.

Ten little wiggly toes that ache in stilettos, burn on the beach, and sparkle when I let them.

But you know? I would willingly get rid of one if I could exchange it for one of the following:

1. Belle's library:

Have you seen this place?  Books.  So many books.  Shelves and shelves of books that require spiral staircases just to get to them.  I still seethe (just a little bit) when the Beast reveals his mondo gift to Belle.  In recent years I have learned the value of used books.  There is a romanticism to knowing that someone else scanned those pages, lovingly/angrily/sadly/compulsively flipped through them, before eventually giving up the book.   I always want to track them down and find out why they decided they no longer needed the book.  I want to start a book club with them, all of them.  I want Belle's library.

2. A Body like Jennifer's

Enough said. She should write a book on how to be just like her.  It would outsell Harry Potter.



3.A Stable Friendship with Butch Walker

Pink is probably one of the luckiest women out there.  She's adorable even when she screws up the lyrics to his song.  He just laughs it off with her.  It's not a secret that I love Butch Walker.  The man is a genius.  Simple.  He should want to be my friend.


4. My childhood creativity

When we were kids, my best friends and I would turn our church bulletins into these elaborate blue prints of our fantasy homes.  Naturally we would all be neighbors, and we would all have (very practical) swimming pools in our bedrooms, ivory bed frames, gardens of fresh flowers spilling off our roof tops, exotic jaguars, lemurs, and peacocks wandering through our living rooms, and closets that rivaled Cher Horowitz's.  We wrote plays, filmed our own talk shows, and amassed way too many craft-night kits.  Nerds? Definitely, Clever? for nine year olds, I think so.  Now, when I sit down to write I have to psych myself up for a good twenty minutes before I can churn out one sentence worth sharing with the public.  At nine years old I had this unabashed personality that I shared with anyone who made eye contact with me.  Where did that go?

5. I think I will keep this one to myself...

Three of you read this.  Anything out there that you would maim yourselves for?