But its snowing.
And my mood is foul.
I have experienced white Christmases for twenty-two years now. I'm telling you, they are all overrated. For some reason, these icy white shards of death, that have the power to turn the gorgeous trees we worshiped all autumn into bony skeletons, are romanticized. The snow and ice that latch onto the tires of my car and shove them towards snow banks and deep watery ditches are heralded in 80% of all Christmas carols.
It was easy for Bing Crosby to dream of a white Christmas, he had the option of spending his holiday in a swanky, retro LA sound stage, sipping martinis and slapping Rosemary Clooney around between takes.
I haven't spent the last twenty-two years hating snow, but I never LOVED it. Sledding was never a pleasure for me, and I've only gone skiing once.
The last time I greeted snow with a smile was during my freshman year at WMU. I remember the glee that rushed over all the girls of fifth floor LeFevre when those first flakes of the season fell. Christmas music filled the hall and everyone was in good spirits.
I think my absolute contempt for this weather began the winter I totaled my car (2007).
I was on my way to pick up Ann from her apartment near campus, and I slammed into the back end of a pick up, completely destroying the front end of my car. The roads weren't even all that bad at the time, but it was winter. I had to stand in the snow waiting for the police and tow truck to show up. Since then my hostility towards the snow has only grown.
I've done 180s on the way to class, slid into snow banks on the way to work, and white-knuckled my steering wheel while taking an hour and half to drive twelve miles.
My friends used to tell me: "If you hate winter so much, why don't you move out of Michigan?"
Now that I am seriously considering a move to warmer weather, I'm getting "Really? You're going to leave everything behind because of snow?"
Stop.
I can't live in a place where I'm terrified to leave my house four months out of the year.
They are forecasting a blizzard that is supposed to last from Tuesday night to Thursday. I've had enough of this.